I tried reverting to breathing focus this morning. It lasted about 5 minutes.

Then my mind wanted to be off; be diverted, be into whatever distraction came its way.

I was aware of the need in me, in my mind, to be hunting out “other” stimulation:

the noise of a car revving up outside;

thoughts of the day ahead, and how it might be being;

thoughts about people, speculating about how they might be being;

and now a memory has come in, totally unrelated to anything; and now thoughts swim that way, down that memory lane, wanting to embellish it and fill it in like you would a colouring book.

a sensation of feeling (too) cold

a feeling of tiredness still

more thoughts come rattling in carrying carriages of words – as if to be alive – this very living – made up into sentences is actually what, really how, life is

And on and on this goes….. from one thought to the next…. from feeling….to sensation… back to thought…another feeling…. another thought…. another memory…

chasing and jumping across my awareness

is one stimulus after another

never ending….a chaotic flux of…of whatever my mind wants to be producing and receiving….

I’ll try again tomorrow

To get more focus onto breathing into my awareness.

Well – we’ll see…..Lol

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