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Strictly speaking i don’t have a teacher – cus to need a teacher you have to feel yourself a pupil or student (of Buddhism) And as i’ve said many times before on this blog: i don’t want to be, or become, a Buddhist.
But i suppose i do have many “virtual” teachers; the Gil Fronsdal’s and the Larry Rosenbergs et al that exist in cyberspace via all those talks i’ve been consistently listening to these past couple of years.
Maybe they’re safer like that, where they are – as virtual teachers, as voices minus their vices. Most of the so-called teachers i’ve met in the flesh have been all too easy to dislike or disdain – cus they’d had all too familiar commonplace personalities or disappointing ”back-stories” – the persona or presence of “spiritual teacher somehow diminished through encounter with what they were really, and actually, like.
But its easy to like Gil Fronsdal as his ethernet presence, his cyberspace persona; his microphoned , mellow, mellifluous,voice.
I don’t have to bother, or be bothered, by the rest of him.
It’s back to listening to Gil Fronsdal (part of the re-install)
Instead of listening to negative news stories in the car.
And meditating on the train up to work in Exeter.
Which i did this morning. Surprisingly easy to do given all the train commotion around. Surprisingly enjoyable to be tuning into breathing awareness around and within me.
Actually, not surprising. I know well enough, that awareness – when simple, when uncluttered and unfettered, – is a source of unadulterated pleasure.
Nothing else is needed. Except to be present. And stay present.
I’m getting to be an irritated car driver again. Time to calm dow, listen to talks by Gil!
I started listening to talks a couple of years ago following a car accident (which was my fault) Within a few weeks the steady stream of talk about “mindfulness” helped to bring the typical irritations and frustrations associated with driving a car into a clearer calmer focus.
The talks helped to give value to driving the car. Firstly, cus it felt more worthwhile to be using my time like this rather than listening to the “negative news” radio. And secondly, because the talks – in themselves – were encouraging me to bring awareness to my experience of being in the car driving, from moment to moment; in other words, to use the actual driving as a means towards mindfulness.
And it worked. My driving self-corrected itself: became less agitated. Being in the car less a situation to mindlessly endure, and more about observing what was occurring during the driving. I wouldn’t go as far as to say driving itself became enjoyable, but i no longer felt “caught” or captured by this car!. Not so imprisoned inside an isolated, alienating metal box, needing to hurry from A to B so as to get the driving over with.
There were times i used to looked forward to getting into the car; so that i could listen to these talks!
But i’ve stopped in the last few months – and gradually, the little frustrations and minor irritations have started to accumulate again; I’m driving too fast, getting impatient (at traffic lights or junctions or with slow old drivers)
I’m another accident just waiting to happen.
So, before i bump somebody else up the backside - i need some calm counsel from Gil.
Introduced K to meditation yesterday. Or more specifically, Gil Fronsdal and the talks thereof.
I can’t think of a gentler guide into the practise of mindfulness than good old Gil.
He’s not like a Teacher teacher. He’s more like a lovely Uncle. Or a benevolent Friend. Or a Mr Humble.
It’s not a hierarchical teaching style he’s got. It’s not Him up there – down to me or you down here. There’s no vertical Top Down with Gil, he’s all Bottom-Up. (Lol) A horizontal sharing of equality.
His voice encourages you kindly, gently, calmly, softly (etc etc) towards your own best intentions.
There’s no No going on.
I think K could sense that.
